


Of Nightmares and Big Sisters

by Oddaudrey



Series: Half-Siblings Campaign Stories [2]
Category: Dungeons & Dragons (Roleplaying Game)
Genre: Anxiety Attacks, Gen, Hanahaki Disease, absent father
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-12
Updated: 2020-04-12
Packaged: 2021-03-01 21:22:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 905
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23613727
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Oddaudrey/pseuds/Oddaudrey
Summary: Juniper dreams of his mother and his father that he never met. His older sister, Atlaya, comforts him in a way no one has for years.
Relationships: Sibling Relationship - Relationship
Series: Half-Siblings Campaign Stories [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1699720
Kudos: 1





	Of Nightmares and Big Sisters

Whenever Juniper dreamt of flowers, he always found it hard to breathe. 

He wasn’t sure how dreams could hurt so subtly, just the appearance of brightly colored petals made his breath hitch. The sensation of thorns pricking his sides, the tightness of his chest, it was never enough to truly wake him but it did make him quite uncomfortable for he knew what he would see next. 

Images of his mother, her loving smile was now a haunting one. She’d pick the flowers, always the red ones because that was her favorite color. 

There was a man next to her, someone he didn’t recognize, so it must have been his father. The man would never show his face, his figure always distorted, incomprehensible. 

Everything about the image before him was beautiful, except for the man. That man was the one thing preventing this vague nightmare from being a pleasant dream. 

Juniper tried to talk to him, but couldn’t speak. He felt his lungs fill up flowers that poured out from his mouth. He could do nothing but throw a hand onto his mouth and watch as his mother looked at him with a confused expression. 

The man’s face can’t be seen, but perhaps if Juniper could see his face he would see a look of complete indifference. Not knowing whether that was true or not felt worse than knowing if his supposed father didn’t care. 

Everything became overwhelming, and the colors blended together until he couldn’t see his own hands in front of him. He wasn’t there anymore, all that was left were feelings of longing and loneliness, an unrequited desire to be loved by his so-called father. 

Juniper woke up to a hand brushing through his hair. He felt like he could breathe again and took in a deep breath. He hadn’t realized that he was running out of air until he was already awake. 

“Are you alright? It sounded like you were choking.” Asked the familiar voice of one of his sisters, Atlaya, who was sitting up in their shared bed with a book in hand. 

Juniper lay in silence for a bit before answering, “I was dreaming…” he spoke just barely above a whisper. 

“Would you like to talk about it?” His sister offered, “Talking about bad dreams usually makes me feel better.”

He didn’t know how to talk about it. 

The monks would simply teach him meditation tactics to help clear his mind, send him back to bed with a cup of kava tea, and eventually there was no one left to comfort him once the monks were gone. Juniper already had trouble communicating with others and expressing his feelings, but he was slowly getting better at it over time. 

Atlaya put her hand that was petting Juniper back to her book and Juniper wished she would have continued to stroke his hair, it had an odd calming effect, like someone had once done something like that to him before but he could no longer remember who. 

“Do you…Ever wonder about who our father was?” Juniper asked. 

Atlaya made a noise of disgust, for a second Juniper thought it was directed towards him, but then Atlaya said, “That man has nothing on my life. I made a good life for myself without him in it. I don’t need to know about who he is, I just focus on who I am.”

Juniper stayed silent, he wished that he had her mindset, but the flowers within his lungs prevented him from such. Any thought of his father, negative or not, caused him to become short of breath. Whether he was truly being choked by flowers or by his own thoughts, he felt the physical repercussions of his intrusive thoughts. 

“Oh, I’m sorry Juni. That probably wasn’t what you needed to hear.” Atlaya quickly apologized, “Did you have a dream about father?”

“I think so. I saw my mom, and she was with a man I couldn’t recognize…So it must have been him.” Juniper explained, “And, I don’t know, I don’t know what he looks like so I don’t understand how I could dream about him…Why was he with my mom…”

Atlaya put her book down on the nightstand next to her and adjusted herself in bed, resting her hand on one of her hands, elbow against her pillow. Her hand returned to Juniper, this time patting his shoulder. 

“Dreams don’t tend to not make much sense, so don’t stress yourself out. While I may not have much desire to see him, I think deep down…You want to know your father, and that’s okay.” Atlaya told him, “It’s not wrong for you to want that.” 

He wasn’t wrong. 

He really had no idea how badly he needed to hear that. 

Juniper felt his eyes becoming heavier as the soft and constant swirling motions of Atlaya’s hand gave a soporific effect. 

“Are you feeling sleepy again now?” Atlaya whispered to him. 

Juniper hummed a response, too tired to form words. 

“I should get some shut eye too.” Atlaya added, turning off the desk light on the nightstand and pulling the bed covers father up to her and Juniper’s shoulders, “Goodnight.” 

Juniper tried to say goodnight too, but it just came out as a small ‘hm’ sound. 

There was something very comforting about sleeping next to another person, it made him feel safe…

It made him feel like he could breathe.


End file.
